Communicating with me...

I relate to people by my own experiences so when someone brings up a subject that allows me to verbally share, not in an egotistical way but in an "I understand" way, that's what I do. My roommate and I have a deal, if she doesn't need to hear "a relating story" she lets me know by asking me to just listen. I prefer that people do that with me as picking up on social cues has been a life long challenge for me. Fortunately, if I am not sure what someone means these days, I try to ask for clarification, not because I am upset or needy or something, it is merely a way to keep communication flowing well. Some people seem to think and/or act like I am the one that should change or they assume I cannot change or that I should be psychic and KNOW what is meant, either way, it places the responsibility of communicatingeffectively all on me. It is said that "communication is a TWO way street" for a reason.

Communication blunders...

I have been adding people to my facebook friends list who may have gone to school with me, or at the least went to the same school...Colton is a very small town...so I often recognize a family name but end up talking to the youngest in the family, much younger than I, or to someone's kids or cousins, etc. It's rather entertaining usually. Recently, several people have sent me emails asking me how I know them so I explain, as I said above, their last name seemed familar and I was just looking for people who went to the same school, Colton. One person I didn't hear back from yet and the other wrote back right away. I don't know why but simple conversations seem to take a wrong turn for me and I end up losing or wishing to start over with the new contact. I will have to examine what it is about my verbage that leads things astray. It seems my old ways of communicating are almost history. It is troublesome because I want to make acquaintances, then possibly friends, but no more than that because I love being single and because I am a woman of faith. I recently asked an old friend whom I had some communication issues with quite some time ago, what he thought it was about me that causes me to end up in predicaments. And his face seemed to flush a bit when he said, you're a really good listener. I think it is more than that, sometimes I speak too openly and frankly. I thanked him for his input and we went on to enjoy a wonderful lunch. Another old friend has told me that being a guy, he knows that guys are pigs and that I should be careful. I believe he thinks I am still naive or at least too trusting, which may have some merit. In any case, I plan to be more diligent about my use of words when communicating, after all, it is always via email or text so it's not like I don't have time to think about what I am saying and how it might be construed. Double entendres can be fun when you know someone well and have a pretty good idea how it might be taken but not with new contacts as it seems what I have said is almost always taken in a risque' manner. Again, really giving thought to what I am saying before I type has become a mission of mine.